What was your first trans experience like?

Learning what I was dealing with was the first step towards my first experience of knowing that I was transgender. It was freeing, sure, but it also scared the holy crap out of me because I knew once I stepped out of that closet, I would be stepping into a wider world where a whole subset of humanity thinks I’m the worst piece of shit in the world, just for existing. And a bunch of other pricks would just see me as a nameless fetish object for their gratification.

Trans experience? Look, I get that you’re probably fishing for sexy stories so you can have a sneaky little wank about this later, but let’s look at the honest truth of my first “Trans Experience”.

.

What are the causes of over sweating?

.

then it continued like that for well over a week. Looking at my body in the shower and feeling like something wasn’t right. Looking at my face in the mirror and feeling not the slightest connection to the stranger looking back at me.

.

While wearing high heels and walking heel to toe, when the toe box hit the floor there is a noise. How do I keep the noise just for the heel?

.

It started as a gnawing feeling in my gut that wouldn’t go away, a pervasive sense of dread and free-floating anxiety, like a panic attack might at any minute erupt. Then…

.

Hello, I have a question about astral projection. I started to get interested in this a little while after my mum passed in april. I thought I may be able to see her and speak with her if I managed to achieve astral projection. Since this interest, every time i sleep on my back I go into sleep paralysis. However, I cant progress into astral projection because it is very scary for me as I feel like I'm suffocating when this happens. I panic and force myself to wake up. This only ever happened about once a year before this. It sometimes lasts a long time. This has happened about 3 times per week since my mum died, as mentioned on a previous post. I no longer try to go into it anymore(due to the suffocating feeling), but it still happens. I read that sleep paralysis is the pathway to astral projection. Why has this started to happen so frequently since simply taking an interest in it? Is this connected to the afterlife? I am concerned about it as I now cannot seem to stop this happening. Could it be my mum trying to communicate? Im asking due to more knowledge around this in this group.

And through it all, that feeling of nerve-jangling dread. That feeling of knowing that something wasn’t right, but I didn’t know what. The constant adrenaline wore at me, stopped me from sleeping more than a few hours at a time. I started to feel like another depressive episode might be in the works. I stayed up late, surfing the internet. Somewhere in the second week I knew that something had to give, that I couldn’t go on like this. I was so far in denial and depersonalization at that point that half of my brain was just on autopilot, but I clicked through to the gender dysphoria bible and read their excellent and nuanced description of gender dysphoria, and realized that I’d been experiencing that for almost my entire life to one degree or another, but I’d been too emotionally numb to figure it out, or to listen to my own feelings.

But I did it anyway and fuck the haters.